> Attempt 5X PRE-INTRO COMBO.

[putthebunnyin]

[Your attempt is an overwhelming success.]

[John is wandering through a cornfield, trying to find civilization.] Geez, I'm starting to feel like this isn't even the Medium at all. But where am I?

Comments

[updatefuckass]

I. OKAY, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. YOU'RE NOT AS DUMB ABOUT THIS AS JOHN, ANYWAY.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

It does sound awfully complicated though! It's hard to think of romance as having four different parts, but I guess a different culture is a different culture.

[updatefuckass]

YOU'RE THE ONES THAT ARE HARD TO UNDERSTAND.
HOW CAN YOU EVEN GET BY ON JUST ONE EMOTION LIKE THAT.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

That's not true, we have lots of emotions! They're just not all tied to romance.

[updatefuckass]

THAT'S STILL WEIRD.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

It's not weird at all! And huge explanations aside, I'm sure you guys aren't that totally different from us!

[updatefuckass]

YES WE ARE.
WE ARE SUPERIOR TO YOU IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.
EVERY WAY.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

I keep hearing that but all you guys have done is troll us all the time! On Earth that isn't considered very superior.

[updatefuckass]

THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR STUPID BACKWARDS CULTURE CAN'T ACKNOWLEDGE HOW SUPERIOR WE ARE.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

No, I'm pretty sure anyone would take a random group of people trolling them not so seriously.

I mean, unless they took the internet pretty seriously! Then it would be kind of a big deal.

[updatefuckass]

OF COURSE IT'S SERIOUS.
WHAT STUPID CULTURE WOULDN'T IT BE SERIOUS IN.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

Ours!

Unless you're being ironic or something. I can't really tell sometimes!

[updatefuckass]

OF COURSE NOT.
IRONY IS FOR STUPID ASSHOLES WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT ANY OTHER WAY TO USE THEIR HUMOR LOBES.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

You must not have met Dave. He is simply the best there is at it!

[updatefuckass]

WHY WOULD I CARE WHO THE BEST IS AT SOMETHING SO INANE.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

See, he'd probably say something really cool and ironic about that if he were here. It'd be so cool, even if I don't get some of his jokes!

[updatefuckass]

YOU CAN WORSHIP HIS BULGE LATER.
WHEN I'M NOT AROUND TO HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT.
EVEN IF I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO ANYWAY.
WITH MY WHOLE SEEING-YOUR-ENTIRE-LIFE THING.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

I'm still not totally comfortable with that, you know! For hating us so much, I'd think you guys would do something better with your time.

[updatefuckass]

THERE IS NOTHING BETTER TO DO.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

Are you sure? I mean, you could watch more of our Earth movies and find ones you like.

We have a lot of them!

[updatefuckass]

THAT WOULD BE A WASTE OF THE LITTLE TIME WE HAVE LEFT.
WHICH WOULDN'T BE THAT LITTLE IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU STUPID HUMANS.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

You don't know that yet! You keep saying you do, but we'll find a way to set things right!

[updatefuckass]

NO, YOU DON'T GET IT.
YOU'VE ALREADY DONE IT.
YOU CAN'T NOT DO IT BECAUSE YOU ALREADY DID, AND WE'VE ALREADY FELT THE EFFECTS OF IT.
IF YOU DIDN'T DO IT, THAT WOULD BE A BRANCH TIMELINE AND WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TALK TO YOU THEN.
IT'S BASIC INEVITABILITY.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

Well... things you can't predict can still happen-- even if we've messed up in the past, we can still fix things now!

[updatefuckass]

IF IT WAS FIXABLE DON'T YOU THINK WE WOULD HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT?