> Attempt 5X PRE-INTRO COMBO.

[putthebunnyin]

[Your attempt is an overwhelming success.]

[John is wandering through a cornfield, trying to find civilization.] Geez, I'm starting to feel like this isn't even the Medium at all. But where am I?

Comments

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

Those things?

[updatefuckass]

YOU KNOW.
THOSE.
CARDS.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

Oh! You mean a deck of cards?

What's so wrong about that?

[updatefuckass]

WHAT
AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THE SAME AGE AS US?

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

I don't know how old you guys are at all! But what does that have to do with anything?

[updatefuckass]

WOW, WHAT THE FUCK.
YOUR HUMAN SOCIETY IS MORE FUCKED UP THAN I HAD THOUGHT.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

What's so wrong about a deck of cards?

[updatefuckass]

HUMANS DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT MUCH?
FINE.
IT'S RELATED TO TROLL ROMANCE, WHICH IS FAR BEYOND YOUR FEEBLE MENTAL FACULTIES ANYWAY.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

Of course we don't! You guys are aliens, aren't you?

Well, I can't promise I'll understand right away, but I'll listen if you want to try explaining!

[updatefuckass]

[You then proceed to attempt to explain troll romance near verbatim the way you tried to explain to John.

Troll explanations sure are weird!]

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

[You listen intently to his TROLL ROMANCE SPIEL and you are more than a little confused! But you think you've got the very basics down, at least.]

Okay, I.. had to think really hard about it, but-- red romance is true love, black romance is like your worst enemy, and diamonds are a troll's best friend!

[updatefuckass]

I. OKAY, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. YOU'RE NOT AS DUMB ABOUT THIS AS JOHN, ANYWAY.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

It does sound awfully complicated though! It's hard to think of romance as having four different parts, but I guess a different culture is a different culture.

[updatefuckass]

YOU'RE THE ONES THAT ARE HARD TO UNDERSTAND.
HOW CAN YOU EVEN GET BY ON JUST ONE EMOTION LIKE THAT.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

That's not true, we have lots of emotions! They're just not all tied to romance.

[updatefuckass]

THAT'S STILL WEIRD.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

It's not weird at all! And huge explanations aside, I'm sure you guys aren't that totally different from us!

[updatefuckass]

YES WE ARE.
WE ARE SUPERIOR TO YOU IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.
EVERY WAY.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

I keep hearing that but all you guys have done is troll us all the time! On Earth that isn't considered very superior.

[updatefuckass]

THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR STUPID BACKWARDS CULTURE CAN'T ACKNOWLEDGE HOW SUPERIOR WE ARE.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

No, I'm pretty sure anyone would take a random group of people trolling them not so seriously.

I mean, unless they took the internet pretty seriously! Then it would be kind of a big deal.

[updatefuckass]

OF COURSE IT'S SERIOUS.
WHAT STUPID CULTURE WOULDN'T IT BE SERIOUS IN.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

Ours!

Unless you're being ironic or something. I can't really tell sometimes!

[updatefuckass]

OF COURSE NOT.
IRONY IS FOR STUPID ASSHOLES WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT ANY OTHER WAY TO USE THEIR HUMOR LOBES.

[roboslap.livejournal.com]

You must not have met Dave. He is simply the best there is at it!